A list of some of our favorite online resources:
Readings & Videos
This is a collection of our favorite articles and talks that go in-depth into the issues you care about.
- In the Case of Divorce… with Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies – Help Each Other Out
It’s no fun sharing the news of divorce with friends. This is what NOT to say.
- Life After Divorce: The Kind Words That Helped HuffPost Divorce Readers Get Through Their Splits – HuffingtonPost.com
Some really awesome kind words people said to those going through divorce.
- After Divorce: Creeping Around Happiness – NYTimes.com
The most beautiful article on the loneliness of divorce and envy of all the other “perfect” couples out there.
- What Not to Say to a Friend Who’s Getting Divorced – Relevant Magazine
This is a must read if you’re anywhere near a freshly divorced person. One of our favorite lists.
- 8 Things Never to Say to a Divorcing Friend – Woman’s Day
Even if you knew they were wrong for each other from the start, the last thing a divorcee wants to here is “I told you so,” and as this list points out, there are a lot of ways in which our words will actually hurt our loved ones and plant our feet squarely in our mouths.
- The Unbridled Shower – Celebrating Divorce Not With a Whimper but a Bang – NYTimes.com
Some friends that are going through divorce just want alone time with a vat of ice cream and Meg Ryan movies. But a new trend is emerging.
- (Step)-Family Trees With Tangled Branches – NYTimes.com
With the proliferation of blended families, new issues are emerging in divorce to complicate life even further. As someone who’s trying to support a loved one dealing with this, Elissa Goodman’s article can help us be sensitive to someone learning how to navigate their divorce when their ties to their step-families are strained.
- Marina Sbrochi: The Lasting Effects Of Talking Bad About Your Ex – HuffingtonPost.com
We’re all intellectually aware that speaking ill of an ex-partner never makes a situation better, but in practice, it is easy to forget when emotions are involved. Here, the anecdotal stories that make this case are part of Marina Sbrochi’s study on the lasting effects that bad talk has on the children.
- Your Friend is Getting Divorced: 12 Helpful Things You Can Do – HuffingtonPost.com
Real ways to provide support, levity, express sincere emotion, and make your loved one feel special.
- Becoming the Parent With the Child in the Wheelchair – NYTimes.com
A BEAUTIFUL, Beautiful article that totally opened up my eyes. Becoming the Parent With the Child in the Wheelchair
- Cancer Friend – HelpEachOtherOut.com
The Help Each Other Out Team made this video of the Cancer Friend From Hell for you. Don’t take offense. We’ve all been on both sides of this equation with some hard time in our own life or in the lives of our friends.
- The Sadness is Contagious – SFGate.com
The most beautiful, heartbreaking piece on practical help during times of illness and dying there is from a man whose has seen all kinds of sickness.
- My Wife’s Fight With Breast Cancer – MyWifesFightWithBreastCancer.com
This beautiful collection of photographs pulls away the curtains and depicts a horrible, frail, and intimate time in cancerland with Jennifer Merendino, documented by her adoring husband.
- What Not To Say To Someone Who Is Sick – NPR.org
After being diagnosed with bone cancer and frustrated with all of the annoying questions and thoughts he received from well-meaning folks, Bruce Feiler has written a guide of what to avoid saying and how to be helpful to a friend at any stage of cancer.
- A Mother’s Journey – SacBee.com
This is a harrowing, Pulitzer Prize winning photographic account of a determined mother caring for her son with Neuroblastoma, a rare childhood cancer.
- An Awesome List by Awesome Cancer Blogger Suleika Jaouad – Secrets of Cancerhood
A wonderful list for us who are scared to say the wrong thing.
- The Things I Wish I Were Told When I Was Diagnosed With Cancer – HuffingtonPost.com
If you’re wondering what your friend is experiencing after treatment, read this. It’s great for people with all kinds of illness and the people who care for them.
- Facing Cancer Together – NYTimes.com
Dr. Dan Shapiro and his wife Terry both struggled with bouts of cancer during their relationship, and this article tells the story of how they worked together as a team to maintain their marriage and support each other.
- ‘Life, Interrupted’ By Cancer Diagnosis At 22 – NPR.org
This lovely, young cancer survivor Suleika Jaouad speaks candidly and with total compassion about the difficulty young people face in reaching out to young friends with cancer.
- Who Suffered Most? – NYTimes.com
One of the pitfalls some fall into when talking to a person in mourning is to inadvertently compete about who is going through the more difficult time.
- The Moth Presents Anthony Griffith: The Best of Times, The Worst of Times – The Moth
Getting straight at the heart of grief, Comedian Anthony Griffith describes the development of his child’s illness at the same time that his career of making people laugh takes off.
- What to say (and not to say) to a grieving person – HuffingtonPost.com
Grief Expert Gloria Horsley puts together this excellent list. Know how it’s hard to feel useful when just sitting there? According to Gloria, you’re doing great.
- Sad News Like a Warm Hug Goodbye – NYTimes.com
From the perspective of a woman who just lost her father, this article illustrates that there is more than one healthy way to mourn loss.
- Why, God? – NYTimes.com
Despite her theological training, Maureen Dowd has found herself at a loss for words when people start asking religious questions in times of tragedy.
- Dealing With Grief: Five Things NOT To Say And Five Things To Say In A Trauma Involving Children – HuffingtonPost.com
Religion can help many of us move past grief and make sense of tragedy. But according to Reverend Emily C. Heath, religion can often come off as trite rather than insightful.
- Letting Children Share in Grief – NYTimes.com
Moving away from the notion that children bounce back after loss, alternative methods such as grief centers for children have begun to proliferate. Catherine Saint Louis suggests that avoiding pain may have a negative impact on children, and looks at professional mental health as a means of helping children navigate when their adult relations are at a loss.
- Exit Lines – NYTimes.com
Bruce Feiler examines the different approaches people have taken in grieving the loss of someone, and communicating with them before and after they pass. Particularly when it comes to cases of the terminally ill, the sentiment of this article alleviates the pressure around knowing when and what to say in a person’s final moments
- A Good Person’s Guide to Handling Your Best Friend’s Unemployment – HelloGiggles.com
An AWESOME list of things to do, say, and NOT SAY.
- Megan Baldwin: A Letter To My Friend Who Lost Her Job – HuffingtonPost.com
In an open letter to an anonymous friend suffering job loss, Megan Baldwin expresses her thoughts and feelings to offer sympathy and support.
- Offering Help (Carefully) to Jobless Friends – NYTimes.com
Navigating a relationship with someone dealing with unemployment can be tricky. Here, some sage advice on how to approach the subject, and the things you can do that are productive for them during their search.
- Ways to Help a Friend Survive a Job Search – NYTimes.com
Writer Amy Baker found herself without a job, but through the gifts she received, she got back to work. Here, gestures you can offer to help a friend or family member in a similar situation.
- For Help Finding a Job, Friends in Low Places – NYTimes.com
The effectiveness of networking with friends, particularly with the younger generation of job searchers. Perhaps taking the time to connect your out-of-work loved one with people in your network is the best way to support their search.
- Helping Out With Cash: A Delicate Art – NYTimes.com
The art of loaning and granting money to friends is tricky to navigate, and as this article presents, in order to maintain your close relationship, there are steps you need to take to make sure you both know what you’re getting and expecting out of the deal.
- When ‘What Do You Do?’ Is Taboo – NYTimes.com
Decorum and etiquette surrounding talking about joblessness has been changing but is still important. How to broach the subject with tact and grace.